family

i've been thinking about what that word means. the dictionary has about a thousand definitions of a family, and i think the one i find myself being drawn to is this:

"a group of persons who form a household under one head."

i like this definition because it means that i don't have to put family in a box. what i mean to say is, this version of family is a version that isn't limited, it is one i can create. "a group of persons." i can make that! i can bring together a group of persons.

i have so many doubts about family these days. certain events and perceptions have made me question what family means. maybe i have had it all wrong my whole life.

to me...family isn't the guy who left when i was a few months old, who doesn't speak to me or even know if i'm still alive or not.

it isn't about blood.

and how can it be? family is about who is there for you. family isn't just who raised you, but it's who you choose to make a part of your home. family can be friends. hell, family could be a dog. family should be the people you love, no matter who they are. blood or no blood. (in the genetic sense of course.)

my dad is the guy who decided to adopt me. he's my family. he's not in any way genetically my father, but he's my dad-because he chose to be. maybe i'm too unconventional in imagining a world where blood isn't important, but boy do i feel like we're put back into medieval times when i think of blood lines being more important than the relationships we have (and could potentially have) with one another.

i love the entire half of my family that has no blood connection. i don't feel as though they are less my family than the ones i do have blood connections too. maybe i'm thinking about family a lot because i have just started a new one. and i guess i'm just shaken because i hoped to have a larger one. i still want a larger one. but if i'm the only one out there who thinks blood doesn't have to carry the weight of the world that dream isn't ever going to happen.

and that's okay. i just... i don't know. i want family to mean something more to everyone. we're all a part of God's family. why can't we be part of each others?