compare/contrast

i've noticed that many people don't like to be compared to others. the example that came to mind is how many new couples don't want their significant other to compare them to an ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

but we all do it. everyone compares. we compare professors. we compare friends. we compare apartments and roommates. we are even taught in class to compare and contrast different books and ideas. so why is it that we don't like to be compared to one another? if we do this all the time, shouldn't we begin to expect comparisons?

and is it bad to compare? if we didn't compare we'd have nothing to go off of when we were searching for a new mate. by comparing the new to the old we can figure out if we are even capable of being attached to the new. at the same time if we're on the end of being compared we are hurt by it. we don't want it to happen. we like to say we would never compare.

is it because we feel threatened by the comparison? maybe we think we won't live up to the ex? maybe we aren't as pretty/smart/funny/choose-your-adjective as the ex. comparisons are going to happen. that, at least, is a guarantee.

i wish i had an answer on whether or not i think it's a good or bad idea. i think maybe it's just something we just have to learn to accept--a don't ask don't tell kind of thing. i won't tell you that i'm comparing you to my dead best friend if you won't tell me you're comparing me to your ex-girlfriend of 5 years.